1. Learn to compromise. It is a beautiful thing! You both will not always agree on everything. The key here is to learn to listen to what the other has to say and ACTUALLY listen. Have an engaging conversation about the topic with your spouse. Be sure to repeat what they are saying to you so that they know you are listening to their feelings. Then you guys can come to a solution you both can live with.
2. Make time for each other. This one is pretty important. Many marriages start to suffer because spouses begin living their lives separately by not including their significant other in their extra curricular activities. Don't get me wrong here - spending time with your friends is very important BUT you should never see your friends more than you do your husband/wife. Making time for intimacy is also a key factor in a healthy marriage and this doesn't necessarily mean just time for sex. Cuddle at night before bed or while watching a movie. Hold hands! Don't be shy about showing your husband/wife how much they mean to you. You most definitely don't want to get so comfortable that you lose the intimacy in your marriage. This leads to your spouse feeling neglected and being tempted to find that intimacy elsewhere.
3. Always kiss each other before you leave for the day, when you get home, and before you go to bed. My husband insists upon this every single day and I must say that I am quite grateful that he does. Not only does this make me feel very loved, but it also let's me know that, even when I piss him off (which can be quite frequently!), he will always be right there! How do I know this? Because even when he is mad at me, he still makes sure to do this every time without fail.
4. Talk about your problems. Ignoring them will lead you straight to a divorce attorney. End of story! Take some time to think things through by yourself if you need. Most people don't handle problems to the best of their ability when they are still angry. After you have had time to collect your thoughts and cool down, talk to your spouse and work through the issue together. If things get a little heated while you are talking, then take a break. Walk away from each other and take another minute to take a deep breath and calm down.
5. Forgive each other. No one is perfect and we need to remember that, especially when it comes to our spouses. You guys are going to makes mistakes and you are going to piss each other off. Learn to talk it through and ADMIT WHEN YOU ARE WRONG. This is a big one. Remember, you aren't perfect either. Once it is forgiven, leave it in the past. I know that this can be hard BUT resist the urge. You can not move forward in a positive direction if you are constantly living in the past you've left behind.
6. Be faithful. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. And being faithful means much much more than just not touching someone else. Looking at inappropriate pictures/videos (yep! I said it.), having inappropriate conversations, and encouraging attention from a member of the opposite sex is never a good thing and will lead to something more if you are not careful. Don't do anything that you wouldn't want your spouse doing or something that you feel you would need to hide from them. Learn to put that energy into your husband/wife and your relationship will flourish!
7. Spend time with your friends. Having a life outside of your spouse is not the end of the world, I promise! Don't be afraid to go to dinner and a movie with the girls or go get a beer and catch a game with the guys. Having this time away from your spouse is actually very healthy for a marriage.
8. Never give up on each other. This one is especially important! When times get tough (and they are going to), try to remember why you fell in love with them in the first place. This person is your best friend and your confidant. You have to learn to love each other even when you may not necessarily deserve it. Don't desert each other in your times of need. Pray through it and keep pushing forward together. You will come out of the end of whatever battle it may be stronger than ever!
9. Appreciate what your spouse does for you. If your wife stays at home with the kids all day and keeps them alive, all while doing the laundry, dishes, cleaning and making you dinner, let her know that you appreciate it! I can say from experience that the whole stay at home mom thing is much more difficult than I anticipated and I salute you mamas that have been doing it for years. If your husband works all day from sun up till sun down providing for your family so that they want for nothing, let him know how much that means to you. At the end of the day, you guys are a team and you need to remember that. One person's job is not more important than the other. Remember that and you will save yourself many arguments!
No marriage is ever going to be perfect. It takes two very imperfect people who are willing to work on it EVERY SINGLE DAY without threatening to throw in the towel. Remember the "till death do us part" part of your vows? Stick to that even when they are being a butt and you'd really rather beat them to death than love them(be honest...we've all felt that way!).
A marriage can be one of the most rewarding experiences you will ever have as long as you treat it with respect and care!
XOXO - Megan
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