9 Ways to a Better Marriage

1. Learn to compromise. It is a beautiful thing! You both will not always agree on everything. The key here is to learn to listen to what the other has to say and ACTUALLY listen. Have an engaging conversation about the topic with your spouse. Be sure to repeat what they are saying to you so that they know you are listening to their feelings. Then you guys can come to a solution you both can live with.

2. Make time for each other. This one is pretty important. Many marriages start to suffer because spouses begin living their lives separately by not including their significant other in their extra curricular activities. Don't get me wrong here - spending time with your friends is very important BUT you should never see your friends more than you do your husband/wife. Making time for intimacy is also a key factor in a healthy marriage and this doesn't necessarily mean just time for sex. Cuddle at night before bed or while watching a movie. Hold hands! Don't be shy about showing your husband/wife how much they mean to you. You most definitely don't want to get so comfortable that you lose the intimacy in your marriage. This leads to your spouse feeling neglected and being tempted to find that intimacy elsewhere.

3. Always kiss each other before you leave for the day, when you get home, and before you go to bed. My husband insists upon this every single day and I must say that I am quite grateful that he does. Not only does this make me feel very loved, but it also let's me know that, even when I piss him off (which can be quite frequently!), he will always be right there! How do I know this? Because even when he is mad at me, he still makes sure to do this every time without fail.

4. Talk about your problems. Ignoring them will lead you straight to a divorce attorney. End of story! Take some time to think things through by yourself if you need. Most people don't handle problems to the best of their ability when they are still angry. After you have had time to collect your thoughts and cool down, talk to your spouse and work through the issue together. If things get a little heated while you are talking, then take a break. Walk away from each other and take another minute to take a deep breath and calm down.

5. Forgive each other. No one is perfect and we need to remember that, especially when it comes to our spouses. You guys are going to makes mistakes and you are going to piss each other off. Learn to talk it through and ADMIT WHEN YOU ARE WRONG. This is a big one. Remember, you aren't perfect either. Once it is forgiven, leave it in the past. I know that this can be hard BUT resist the urge. You can not move forward in a positive direction if you are constantly living in the past you've left behind.

6. Be faithful. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. And being faithful means much much more than just not touching someone else. Looking at inappropriate pictures/videos (yep! I said it.), having inappropriate conversations, and encouraging attention from a member of the opposite sex is never a good thing and will lead to something more if you are not careful. Don't do anything that you wouldn't want your spouse doing or something that you feel you would need to hide from them. Learn to put that energy into your husband/wife and your relationship will flourish!

7. Spend time with your friends. Having a life outside of your spouse is not the end of the world, I promise! Don't be afraid to go to dinner and a movie with the girls or go get a beer and catch a game with the guys. Having this time away from your spouse is actually very healthy for a marriage. 

8. Never give up on each other. This one is especially important! When times get tough (and they are going to), try to remember why you fell in love with them in the first place. This person is your best friend and your confidant. You have to learn to love each other even when you may not necessarily deserve it. Don't desert each other in your times of need. Pray through it and keep pushing forward together. You will come out of the end of whatever battle it may be stronger than ever!

9. Appreciate what your spouse does for you. If your wife stays at home with the kids all day and keeps them alive, all while doing the laundry, dishes, cleaning and making you dinner, let her know that you appreciate it! I can say from experience that the whole stay at home mom thing is much more difficult than I anticipated and I salute you mamas that have been doing it for years. If your husband works all day from sun up till sun down providing for your family so that they want for nothing, let him know how much that means to you. At the end of the day, you guys are a team and you need to remember that. One person's job is not more important than the other. Remember that and you will save yourself many arguments!

No marriage is ever going to be perfect. It takes two very imperfect people who are willing to work on it EVERY SINGLE DAY without threatening to throw in the towel. Remember the "till death do us part" part of your vows? Stick to that even when they are being a butt and you'd really rather beat them to death than love them(be honest...we've all felt that way!).

A marriage can be one of the most rewarding experiences you will ever have as long as you treat it with respect and care!

XOXO - Megan  

8 Ways to Deal with the "Baby Mama"

The "Baby Mama" and the "Baby Mama Drama" - this is quite possibly one of the most difficult situations to handle for all involved parties due to the awkwardness and the pent up anger and frustration that can accompany this. It is quite frankly a nearly impossible and very exhausting situation sometimes.

Unfortunately, I've had my fair share of dealings with this and let me just tell you - it sucks. But it can get better with a little bit of work. All it takes is open lines of communication and respect for everyone involved. With those two things, the inevitable times that you piss each other off will be much easier to bear.

So how do you do this you ask? Continue reading...

1. Respect her role as the Mother of her child. There should never be a moment where you call another woman's child your own (aside from calling them your step child, of course). Maybe this is something that women without children do not understand as they have never gone through being pregnant and giving birth. The connection that you feel with your baby after experiencing this is something that I could never describe to the fullest no matter how hard I tried. Be as respectful of this relationship as possible and understand that she is allowing you to be a part of something very precious to her. This does not mean that you are not allowed to love her child. She wants you to love them. Every mother's nightmare is that their child's father will marry someone awful that will be cruel to her child. Remember this and prove her fears wrong!

2. Don't talk about her on any type of social media. This should really speak for itself but I will elaborate. If you are frustrated with her, pick up the phone and call her. Don't take to social media to alleviate your frustrations. That is not fair to her and doesn't make you look very fantastic either. Remember - open lines of communication. Talk to her and work through those issues together. You may be surprised at where it takes you.

3. Understand that there are two sides to every story and that your husband/boyfriend may not be telling you the 100% truth. I will just leave it at that!

4. Don't do things behind her back. For example, if she feels that her child should not be playing a certain type of violent video game, then BACK HER UP. Allowing your step child to do this at your house when you know that they are not allowed to do it at home does nothing but create problems and open up the door to "I'll let you but you can't tell your mom" issues. Would you like to know what you are doing here? TEACHING THEM TO LIE. It is very natural for all of the parents involved in a child's life to not agree 100% on everything. So, you guys need to come together and agree on what you will allow and what you won't. Have the same rules apply to every house the child calls home and you will be saving yourself many, many, MANY unnecessary arguments.

5. Don't speak negatively of her in front of her child. This is probably one of the most disrespectful things that you could possibly do to a mother and her child.

6. If there was cheating involved, sit down and talk about it woman to woman, speak your peace, and then let it go. At the end of the day, your actions have consequences and thinking that you should not apologize for them is ridiculous. While she may be able to get over what you did to her, its going to take her longer to get over the harm you caused her child as breakups/divorce are sometimes more painful to the children involved than it is the actual couple. So, sit down and work it out. Ignoring the problem will not make it go away and tends to result in bitterness. The end goal here is to create something positive from the situation so that the child will not have to suffer any more. Remember, the little one is an innocent bystander in all of this.

7. Let go of what you have been told about her and start getting to know her yourself. Develop your own opinions about her and stop being influenced by others. She may not be as bad as you think. I'm not saying that she has to be your best friend. You both just need to learn that the other shouldn't be "enemy number one."

8. Understand that she honestly does not want your husband/boyfriend back (Now, I can't speak for all women here as this may be a possibility for some BUT don't go straight to that assumption. I'd be willing to bet that there are more lady's out there that are now in a happier place and feel nothing for your significant other than the later!). I have always said that everything in life that comes to an end has done so for a purpose and I fully believe it to be very true. All a mother wants is what is best for her child. She may not have any behind the scenes motives for calling your husband. It may come as a shock to you, but she may quite possibly just want to discuss her child and the problems she is currently experiencing. It really is that simple and, if you are going to be in her life long term, she just wants your help in making that happen.

Of course, these suggestions are only going to work if you have two willing parties to participate. At some point, everyone has to just put on their big girl and boy panties and realize that the past is the past. We can't change it or do anything about it but accept what has happened, apologize, and move on (this means you too, my fellow baby mamas!). This is crucial in creating a happy environment for the babies!

Just remember that she doesn't understand the things that you do anymore that you understand her so TALK, TALK, TALK, AND TALK SOME MORE. Don't text or e-mail your problems. Go to lunch or pick up the phone. I can not express how important being open and honest with each other will become.

If you try all of these things and you are still getting nowhere with her? Unfortunately, she is in fact being difficult and does not want to work anything out with you. This is a really sad reality for her child as this only makes their world harder. All you can do is keep the child's best interest in mind and do your best to do the right thing. Focus on being the bigger person and minimize the arguments and difficult situations.

Good luck!